


Breathe Again

by Barson4Ever



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25612312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barson4Ever/pseuds/Barson4Ever
Summary: Will Harris be able to help Carly breathe again after what has happened to her?
Relationships: Steven Harris(L&O:SVU)/ Original Female character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

Liv walked out of the elevator, Rollins stood handing her a cup of coffee. 

“What do we have?” Liv asked. 

“40 year old Carly Sheppard on her way home when the perp came up behind her, put a hand over her mouth, dragged her behind a dumpster and raped her. They are doing a rape kit now, Sonny and Fin are canvassing the area for any possible leads.” Amanda said. 

Liv sat down beside her and waited, soon the doctor came out saying they could go in. 

“I’m detective Benson and this is detective Rollins. We are from the Special Victims Unit. Can you tell us what happened?” 

“I was heading home from work, I’m a writer. I was walking to a coffee shop to wait for a cab. I was texting my boyfriend as I walked, when I was grabbed from behind and a gun was pushed into my back. He pulled me into an alley and behind a dumpster and...raped me. Can you call my boyfriend? He's a captain at the NYPD.” 

“What’s his name?”

“Steven Harris.”

Both Rollins and Liv looked at each other. Rollins stepped out to call Barba to see if he and Harris were still at his office going over a new case file.

“We will get him down here, he’s actually talking with our DA right now.” Liv said. 

Liv and Carly went over all the details once more. As soon she walked out of the room she saw Barba and Harris at the front desk, she walked over.

“Rafa, Captain Harris.” 

Harris looked over at her, as he headed toward her he started to run and half way there he started sprinting to her. 

“Where is she?”

“In here.” Liv showed him her room.

Harris opened the door, slowly walking over to the bed. 

“Sweetheart, it's me.” Harris stood 10 feet from the bed.

Carly looked over, opened her arms. Harris sat down on the bed holding her. She soon fell asleep. After a while the doctor came in and released her, after she woke up, changed into some scrubs that the hospital lent her while Harris talked to Liv and Rollins. 

“I know it’s too early into the investigation but has the rest of the squad found anything?” 

“We are running the DNA from the RAPE kit. So far no hits in the database do you have any ideas who might have done this? Someone with a grudge?” 

“Carly not that I know of, me probably being a captain in the NYPD. Can I take her home? Have you spoken to her and taken her statement?” At Liv’s nod he continued, 

“If she remembers anything else I’ll let you know. If you need anything else please go through me, okay, and I want to know immediately if you find anything.”

“Yes, I’ll be in contact when we have something.” Liv said, leaving the room. 

Harris looked over at Carly, walking over closer to the bed.

“Can I give you a hug?” 

Carly nodded.

He pulled her into a hug, kissed her head. 

“Can we go home?” 

“Yes, I have a wheelchair waiting for you outside.” Steven said, as he got up. 

Carly nodded as she watched him go and get. An hour later, he got her home and on the couch. He sat on one end of the couch, she was on the other. She looked at him, he smiled at her and opened up his arms. She moved quickly and settled into his arms, breathing in his scent. She was asleep in no time.

Carly woke up, looking around it took her a moment to realize where she was. 

“Steven?” She asked.

“Coming!” 

Harris ran from the hallway. 

“Yes?” 

“What were you doing?” 

“Nothing, just straightening up the room, I was going to wake you up to see if you wanted to shower and I was going to bring you dinner in bed.” 

Carly got up, and hugged him. 

“Thank you.” 

“Your welcome, go on, I might have a warm bath with all the doings waiting on you.” Steven kissed her head. 

Carly headed upstairs, showering off first to remove the grime, then settled into the bath. After a while the water got cold and all the bath salts were gone she got out. She got back in the shower to get warm again putting on the cozy pajamas she loved. She settled into the bed about the same time there was a knock on the door. 

“I have dinner ready honey.” Steven said, as he opened it and walked over to her.


	2. Chapter 2

A month went by and Carly was struggling, Rollins and Carisi had caught the bastard that had raped her. The trial was at a standstill and Harris and Barba were at each other's throats. Carly was sitting on the couch along the window, listening to the two men arguing.

“This trial is beginning to look like my prom night, one of the jurors actually looks like an older version of my date, I didn’t get Lucky.”

“Well I did, and I plan on getting lucky again and that son of a bitch goes to prison for the rest of his pathetic life.” Steven said as he sat beside Carly.

“Are you okay?” 

He gently took her right hand away from her left wrist where she was clawing herself. 

“I just wish it was over.” 

“Tomorrow, the judge assured me you won’t have to take the stand, we will get a guilty verdict.” 

Carly sighed, leaning on Steven’s shoulder. 

“Can I take her home?” Steven looked at Rafael.

“Of course.” 

Steven and Carly left, Rafael sighed as they did. He looked around at the picture of him, Liv, and Noah realizing it was getting late he packed up his briefcase and headed home. As he opened the door to his and Liv’s apartment Noah looked up from the living room, jumping up and running to him.

“Papi! Papi!” Noah jumped into his arms.

“I figured you would be in bed, mijo.” Rafa kissed his head, as Noah laid his head on his shoulder.

“We fell asleep watching a movie, we just woke up a few minutes before you texted you were in the elevator.”

“How about you go brush your teeth and get in bed, I’ll come tuck you in in a few minutes.” Raf kissed Noah’s head, letting him down, the little boy running off to the bathroom.

“How was the meeting with Harris and Carly?”

“As well as can be expected.” Raf sighed, sitting on the couch throwing his tie across the back of the couch, giving her a kiss.

Across town Carly was in the bathtub filled with bubbles. After getting out and drying off and putting on a shirt and pj pants, she went out into the bedroom finding Steven in bed. He looked up and smiled. Carly got in beside him, soon both were asleep Carly’s head on his chest. The next day, Mark Jacobs was brought into the courtroom so the verdict could be read.

“Yes your honor.”

“What say you?” 

“We find the defendant……” 

Carly didn’t hear anything as she buried herself as close to Steven as possible.

“Guilty.” 

“The state of New York thanks you for your service.” 

Carly opened her eyes looking up at Steven. Barba got up walking over to the squad, talking for a minute.

“It’s over?” Carly asked, as Barba came over to the two of them.

“Yes.”

“Thank you Mr. Barba.” Carly whispered, as her and Steven stood up. 

“You’re welcome.” 

They headed outside and Liv and Fin helped them get a cab without being bothered with the press. Once they were inside a cab and headed home, Carly laid her head on Steven’s shoulder,

“What now?” 

Steven wrapped an arm around her pulling her close. 

“Whatever you want to do. I’ll help in any way.” Steven whispered.

Carly felt butterflies in her stomach, the same kind she had been getting for a few weeks now. She quickly grabbed Steven’s hand moving to where the butterflies were. 

“What is that?” His face was curious and nervous.

Carly smiled gently.

“Our baby, I went to the doctor to have a checkup. I wasn’t feeling good and after blood tests they told me I was a little over nine weeks.” 

Harris thought a minute and smiled.

“That night after the…. At the hotel?”

“Yes after the rape, at the hotel after you took me on that romantic date….” Carly laid her head on his shoulder.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” 

“I wanted to, but I didn’t want the trial hanging over this…. I also couldn’t ever find a good moment either.” 

Steven kissed her, then realized something.

“Are you okay? I know the rape caused some… damage, I didn’t hurt you did I? Will there be complications? Are you feeling like yourself? Are you happy?” Steven rambled nervously. 

Carly smiled at him. 

“No you didn't hurt me, the damage is healed. The doctor doesn't think so, even women who have normal pregnancies with no trauma before sometimes have issues.” 

“Good, good.” Steven said.

They pulled up to their apartment. Carly went to the bedroom laying down on the bed and Steven sat beside her. Carly lifted up her shirt, so Steven could see a slight bump. He didn’t do anything but look at it, then stare off into space.

“What’s wrong?” Carly asked.

“I’m scared.” 

“Of what?” 

Steven stood, going over to the dresser, pulling out a box and came and sat back down beside her. Carly had never seen what was inside of it, he gestured for her to look inside. She saw pictures of Steven and a pregnant woman about her age. One in particular was a wedding photo, Steven in a tux. Carly looked at him, Steven started talking, still looking at the pictures. 

“It was about three years ago, five months before we met and became friends Molly went into labor early about a month. I was on my way from work, I got home and her to the hospital in no time. They took her back for surgery, a c-section but something happened. Molly had major blood loss, the baby girl had asphyxia… both...didn’t make it.” Steven said, taking a deep breath as he looked at her, tears in his eyes.

Carly leaned in and kissed him, hungrily and tenderly at the same time. Steven moved the box off to the side and gently lifted her into his lap without breaking the kiss. After a few minutes he broke the kiss, Carly tucked her head into his neck. Steven laid back on the bed.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Steven kissed her forehead.

The two of them were asleep in minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Four weeks Later**

Carly just sat down on the couch exhausted from the week. Steven was on his way home with Chinese, she would be watching tv, so he texted her so he wouldn’t scare her. He walked in putting his briefcase by the door, walked over to the couch and set the bag of Chinese on the ottoman. 

“How was your day?” 

“It was exhausting. I’m glad to be home for the weekend.” She laid her head on his shoulder.

“How’s my girl?”

“I think she might be a boy.” 

“We will find out in eight months, unless you want to find out sooner?” 

“I really want to know.” Carly said, grabbing and opening the takeout. 

Steven chuckled, getting up to get drinks.

“Okay we will tell the doctor.” 

“How was your day?”

“I’m back at SVU, helping while Benson is out.”

“What happened to Olivia?”

“Nothing, her, Barba, and their kid are all sick. SVU is down a CO and ADA” Steven was getting his food out of the bag.

Steven became very quiet instead of chatting as they ate. Carly could feel him staring at her but he kept looking away when she looked back at him. She looked over at him and thought he looked either nervous or guilty, she wasn’t sure which. One thing she was sure of, it was rude to stare.

“What?” 

“I just started wondering today if you wanted more from me?”

“Like what?” Carly grabbed his hand.

“What I was going to have with Molly, a baby, a marriage, a future together, a family.” 

“My dad got my mom pregnant when they were young, it didn’t work out well. I always wanted a marriage, but it isn’t a must.”

“I would love to be married again.” 

“And I would be honored to accept.” She squeezed his hand.

After dinner Carly laid in bed looking at baby names. Steven laid down beside her,

“See any you like?”

“What do you think about tradition, unique, places, brand, musical, or last names?”

“Unique like boy names for girls?”

“Yes, I like them.”

“I do too, I guess.” She said quietly.

Steven could tell she was sad.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just don’t want to give a boy a girl name, teenagers are bullies.”

“Know from experience?” 

“I had a friend in school named Addison, he was my best friend from kindergarten. He committed suicide in the summer after 9th grade.” 

Steven hugged her close, and kissed her head.

“How about Bentley Logan Harris?” 

“I love it, I also like Addison.” Steven said. 

“I love you.” Carly looked at him, and kissed him.

“I love you, too.” 

“I’m exhausted.” 

She put the book on the side table, turned off the light before laying on his chest. Carly fell asleep quickly, but Steven stayed awake thinking about all she had been through. Steven hugged her close and kissed her gently on the forehead.


	4. Chapter 4

Carly was having a lovely morning. She had been window shopping for baby clothes and had had a guilt free large portion of caramel cheesecake, she was eating for two now she told herself. She was now on her way to SVU then home, sitting in the back of a cab. Her phone started ringing, answering it,

“Hey baby…..what are you doing?” Steven asked.

“Headed to SVU to see Liv, then home what about you?”

“Me to…” 

Steven heard a scream and a collision. 

“Carly!! Hey can you hear me sweetheart? Baby talk please, say something!”

“Help, close to SVU, maybe a block.”

“Okay I’m calling 911 and Benson hold on baby.” 

“Kay.”

Steven got off, quickly hitting Benson’s number on the speed dial.

“Benson.”

“Carly just had a car accident taxi not far from the precinct she’s pregnant could you go? I’m trying to get there and I'm halfway across town.” 

“Of course I’m going now.”

Harris called Carly back.

“Honey Benson is on her way, has anyone got to you yet?”

“I hear sirens.” Carly sighed, sounding like she was going to pass out. 

“Don’t pass out baby, honey come on keep talking.”

There was silence then a busy signal.

“Damn it, hurry up get close to the 16th precinct, as close as you can get.” 

“I’m doing my best.” The taxi driver said, speeding through traffic.

By the time Steven got to the scene, the ambulance had Carly loaded up, Steven yelled at Benson who was fixing to climb in the ride with Carly. 

“Benson!”

Liv saw him, letting him climb in instead of her.

“I’ll be right behind you Fin and Carisi is taking care of the scene.” 

Steven nodded, not trusting his voice as the door closed and the paramedics worked on her as the ambulance took off. 

“How is she and the baby? She’s pregnant 2 ½ months.” 

“Have a heartbeat for her, she’s just unconscious. I'm checking for a heartbeat for the baby now.” The EMT said, as he got out the equipment. 

Steven took Carly’s hand and squeezed it, he was bent over with his head against her shoulder praying something he hadn’t done since Molly and his unborn child passed on. 

“I have a heartbeat, it’s steady, not strong, not weak but beating.” 

Steven nodded, as he just watched the rise and fall of her chest telling him she was alive. As long as she was there was a good chance the baby would be too. They soon arrived at the hospital, they made Steven stay in the waiting room, Liv came in shortly. 

“How’s Carly and the baby?”

“No news yet. I’ve already tried the whole I’m with the NYPD thing.” Steven said, when Liv started off to the nurse’s station.

Liv sat beside him, ten minutes later Fin, Sonny, Amanda, and Rafa came in sitting around them.

“Taxi driver and the other driver are both dead. We guess the other driver wasn’t paying attention.” Sonny said.

Rafael had sat on the other side of Steven, they looked at each other.

“I’m having a bad Deja vu, are you?” Steven whispered.

“Yes, only this time it’s not my sister and niece in the operating room.” Rafael said.

“I’m praying to God, this doesn't end up like last time.” Steven said leaning back in his chair.

Rafael did his best to look positive despite also praying for the first time since ‘the last time’.

“It looks hopeful.” Steven looked up seeing the same doctor who had operated on Molly.

“Carly made it through the surgery, we had to realign her arm and move a few pieces of bone. She also has bruising to the chest from the seat belt. Overall she was very lucky she wasn’t injured more severely, from what I heard of the accident. Your girlfriend has a strong constitution and so does the baby. The baby doesn’t appear to have been affected and all tests are normal. She is still coming around from the anesthetic but it won’t be long before she is awake."

“Can I see her?” 

“Yes, follow me.” 

Steven followed him to the room, opening the door he was stunned to her so pale.

“She’s pale because of blood loss, we are giving her more.” 

“The baby?”

“Okay as long as mom is doing good baby is too.” 

Steven nodded, sitting beside the bed looking at the two heart monitors.

“I’ll be back every hour to check on her.” 

“Thanks doc.” Steven said, taking Carly's hand.

He nodded and left.

Liv was stunned when she heard Rafa and Harris talk. It must have shown on her face, Raf looked at her and said, 

“I never told anyone only Steven, mami, and I know that story.”

“I knew Harris was a widower, I just didn’t know she was your sister.” Liv whispered, wrapping an arm around him.

“That’s why Harris and I are so close when we work together, Carly was interested first but it was too soon after Molly's death was just five months before they met. He finally asked her out for coffee after six months of being friends and it was love from then on. He felt guilty.”

“Because of Molly?”

“And what mine and mami’s reaction would be, he thought it was so soon afterwards. We had them over for dinner and told them we were happy for them. They asked me to be godfather to their child and they wanted you to be godmother but they haven’t got round to asking you yet. I told him to go for it, you only live once you know what that’s like.” Raf smiled at her.

“Yes, yes I do.” Liv whispered, kissing him.

Meanwhile back in Carly’s room, Steven had his head on the bed Carly's palm in his. He woke up, feeling a squeeze, looking up seeing her smile at him he cried and kissed her deeply.


	5. Chapter 5

Steven broke the kiss, looking at her.

“Hey.”

Carly started crying,

“What is it?”

“The baby’s di…”

“Baby’s fine the doctor said, he or she had a strong heartbeat when you were brought in.”

She relaxed at that, Steven kissed her again. 

“I thought I’d lost my second chance at happiness please don’t scare me like that again.” Steven whispered, softly. 

“I’ll try not to, can I have some water?” 

“Sure honey.” Steven reached for the pitcher and filled a cup and helped her drink it.

After a few minutes of looking at each other and kissing Steven pressed the nurse button. After a few minutes the doctor and nurse came in. 

“How do you feel?”

“Sore, tired, lucky how’s the baby?” 

“The heartbeat has been strong and steady. I’m going to do an ultrasound once one of the nurses gets down here with a machine.” 

Fifteen minutes later Steven and Carly were looking at the doctor while praying. The doctor looked at them smiling as he turned on the sound of the heartbeat filling the room. Steven and Carly had tears in their eyes, looking at each other.

“I’ll leave you two alone, it’s still too early to tell the gender. You will be going home tomorrow.” 

“Are our friends still outside?” Steven asked.

“Yes, you want me to send them in?”

Both Carly and Steven looked at each other.

“Rafael and Olivia?” 

“Yes.” 

“Alright.” The doctor left.

“I thought we were going to wait?” Steven asked. 

“Why wait, life’s too short I’m excited to ask Rafa. This happening must have given both of you bad flashbacks.” 

“Yes. Do you want or need anything?”

A day at the spa, complete with a hotel room.” 

“Done.” Steven whispered, kissing her again.

A knock interpreted their kiss.

“Come in.” 

Rafael opened the door, and both him and Liv walked in. 

“How are you and the baby?” Liv asked, as she sat in a chair Raf behind her.

“Feeling a bit rough, but I’m alright baby too.” 

“Is there a reason you wanted to see us? We figured you two would want some time alone?” Raf asked.

“We wanted to ask you two something.” Steven said. 

“Anything, do you want to run to your apartment to get some stuff?” Liv asked, getting up. 

“No, we are going home tomorrow. We were wondering if you two would be interested in being godparents to our son or daughter.” 

“We would be honored.” Rafael whispered.

Rafael and Olivia stayed an hour, before going home. That night Carly watched Steven sleep, she noticed he was getting tense in his dream she ran her hand over his head whispering,

“Honey, honey wake up.” She reached for his hand where he had it balled into a fist. She squeezed it, Steven jumped lifting his head slightly just seeing her hand, whispering

“Molly?” 

Carly smiled sadly, moving her hand to his cheek.

“No, you were having a bad dream I think.”

Steven looked at her, wiping his tears away from his eyes. He buried his head against her stomach, Carly didn’t say anything just continued to run her hand up and down his back. 

“I saw her and the baby girl, I held her. She told me not to screw up, that I wasn’t ever going to have my happily ever after with her and the baby girl. She said God said you needed me and a baby more than her.” He kissed her stomach then her lips.

“Did the baby have a name?” You asked, wiping his eyes.

“Logan. Just Logan, I asked her if she knew that our baby was going to have Logan as a middle name. She just nodded and then I woke up.” 

Carly lent her head against his.

“I love you.”

“I love you two more.” Steven whispered, kissing her. 

A week later Carly got to go home. As she laid on the couch resting, Steven massaged her feet. He looked at her, gently pulling her to lay in his lap looking at her stomach rubbing it.

“Are you and mom hungry?” 

“We are.” You whispered. 

He got up going to the kitchen, coming back with some sandwiches and drinks. 

“Here we go.” 

Carly smiled at him, as he sat beside her.

“What?” 

“I love you.” Carly whispered, and kissed him.

“I love you two too.” Steven whispered. 

Carly spent the next month being spoiled and made to feel like the center of the universe. Steven as promised took her to a five star hotel and made sure that she took advantage of their award winning Spa and Beauty Parlor. She spent the long weekend in heaven and falling more in love with Steven every day. He waited on her hand and foot when he was home and when he wasn’t he had flowers, coffee, pastries, clothes and chocolates delivered. She loved the deliveries and tried to guess what he’d sent each time there was a knock at the door. When Carly was five months they went back to the doctors for a check up.

Once all the tests were done the doctor smiled at them and said, “Congratulations, it’s twins!” Smiling at their shocked faces.

“We’re having twins!” Steven almost shouted before smiling from ear to ear.

“Yes, a boy and a girl.” The doctor said, pointing to each baby on the scan photo.


	6. Chapter 6

Two months passed, and Steven was distant all of a sudden, didn’t want to feel the babies move or anything. Carly was worried sick and had stopped by Rafael’s office, Carmen let her in. Raf immediately jumped up when he saw the look on her face,

“What’s wrong?” 

“Can I ask a semi-personal question?” 

“Yeah.” Raf said, gesturing for her to sit,

“When did Molly and the baby die? I know it’s near the date but all I know is five months before we met and I’ve always been afraid to push him, he’s always distant this time of year.” 

“It’s tomorrow, I texted him today to check on him. He was working, he said he was going home three hours ago.” 

“I just came from home, I’ve not seen him since this morning.”

Raf called Liv. 

“Hey Rafa.”

“Hey mi amor, are you still at work?”

Liv stopped by Fin’s desk.

“Yeah, what’s wrong?”

“Hopefully nothing can you trace Harris’s cell? Carly hasn’t heard from him.”

Fin tracked it.

“He’s at Forlini’s, been there for the last four hours.” Fin said.

“Thanks I’ve got it from here.” Raf hung up.

“He’s at Forlini’s I’ll go with.” 

Carly and Rafael headed to Forlini’s. Walking in Carly saw Steven in the back corner with four shot glasses. By the time Carly and Rafael walked back he had down three of them.

“Captain, don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Raf asked, sitting on one side of him.

Steven looked up at them, seeing Carly he put down the shot in his hand. Carly sat down beside him, Rafael just looked at him. Steven looked ashamed as Carly grabbed a hold of his hand.

“I’m not mad, just worried. You wouldn’t answer my text or calls.” 

Steven looked at her, and pulled her close resting his chin on top of her head. He pulled back, and kissed her. 

“Can we go home?” Carly whispered.

Steven nodded and started to get up. 

“Stay, I’ll get you an uber and text Carly when it’s here.” Raf said, standing up. 

Both stayed put until Raf texted them to come out, walking outside and into the uber they realized Raf had already gone home. You texted him back, saying thank you. His reply was,

_Ride is already paid for, text Liv or I when you get home and work this out._

Carly smiled at the message, looking at Steven who looked miserable. She laid her head on his shoulder. A little while later he spoke,

“I’m sorry I didn’t call or text you.” 

“It’s okay I was just worried about you.”

Steven smiled and kissed her.

“I wish the next four months would go by faster.” Carly whispered. 

“Me too, even though I’m terrified of the birth.” 

“Everything will work out and we will have a beautiful baby girl and boy.” 

Steven pushed a string of hair out of her face.

“I wished I had your confidence.”

Carly kissed him, wrapping his arm around herself, whispering in his ear,

“I love you and everything will work out.” 

They got home Steven made a small dinner for the two of them while Carly got ready for bed. As she came out he passed her in the hallway saying,

“Dinner’s done, I’m going to shower off and join you.” After he kissed her.

Carly got a plate, and slowly ate waiting on Steven. He came back ten minutes later, eyes and nose red and his hair dried but still out all different directions. He sat beside you after getting his plate and started eating. Carly put a hand on his arm,

“Honey I know what tomorrow is. Raf told me.”

Steven got a grief-stricken look on his face.

“I should have told you a long time ago.” 

“I guessed it was close, you always do this about a week before the anniversary and seem to be back yourself two days later.” Carly whispered, squeezing his hand. 

“Yeah, I’ve taken off the next four days, might work from home some if I feel up to it.” 

“What can I do?” She asked, as she squeezed his hand.

“Just what you’re already doing, being supportive and putting up with me being a bit of an emotional wreck. I know it can’t be easy to deal with me being like this, especially considering why. I really don’t deserve you. Not many girlfriends would be so understanding.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Despite your gruff exterior you’re a big softy and when you love, you love deeply. I’ve always known about Molly and that she will always have part of your heart. I also know that said heart is big enough to love us both. I’ve never doubted your love for me because of Molly. Okay?”

“I love you. I really need to work on the girlfriend part.” Steven smiled, and kissed her.

“I love you more, and when you're ready I’ll say yes.”

The next morning at 11am Steven was still in bed. Carly had done every odd job she could think of in order to give him time. She couldn’t leave him alone any longer so she headed to the bedroom with breakfast. She put the tray on the dresser and sat next to him on the bed. He slowly moved closer to her until his head was resting against her stomach and he was clutching her like she might just vanish into thin air.

“I’m scared.” 

“I know, but we have a very good reason to believe everything will be okay.”

“How is that?”

“Because of the dream you had of Molly. You trusted her when she was alive right?”

“Yes.” 

“Well trust her in death too. I believe she sent you to me and sent me to you so we could have what got taken from you and her. I was just the lucky one she chose for you. A happy life filled with love and two kids maybe more down the road.”

“I love you.” Steven whispered, kissing her.

“We love you more."


	7. Chapter 7

The two of them were laying on the couch, Steven was watching Carly sleep, on his chest. He was very concerned about her and the babies. The doctor wanted to induce Carly tomorrow at the 36 weeks check up. He was concerned about pre-eclampsia and needless to say Steven was absolutely terrified. 

“Everything will work out.” Carly mumbled snuggling closer to Steven. 

Steven chuckled, wrapping his arms around her, putting his forehead against the side of her head. The next day at the appointment, the doctor did one last check up before turning to Steven.

“We are taking them in for a c-section.”

Steven nodded, and looked at you. 

“You can come in too. It shouldn’t be like last time. She’s strong, healthy, unlike Molly was.”

“What happened with Molly if you mind me asking.” Carly asked. 

“She had Eclampsia which is very serious. As it gets worse a woman who has pre-eclampsia can have seizures. Molly had a seizure mid-birth and we couldn’t relieve her. The baby was out, we just had to cut the cord but when she had the seizure…. It all happened so fast the cord got wrapped around the neck somehow...to this day I don’t understand how it did, but the cord was wrapped around 3 times. We tried to cut it but it was already too late. Carly looked at Steven who had turned away from both of them. He was close enough so Carly reached for his hand, squeezing it, Steven turned and looked at her, when he did. Carly’s heart broke.

“Everything will turn out okay. Everything happens for a reason.” 

Steven nodded.

The doctor got Carly ready for surgery, Steven got scrubbed in, and walked into the room. A nurse directed him to a stool, beside Carly’s head. Steven was so focused on Carly, he didn't even bother looking down, he just kept asking if everything was okay. He finally looked down when he heard a cry. He looked down, tearfully smiling as the doctor held a baby girl. 

“Bentley Logan Harris is here.” He whispered.

Bentley let out a cry as the doctor passed her to a nurse. A few minutes later, Bentley’s brother Arizona Addison arrived. Another nurse came over to get Arizona clean up. 

“The three of them okay?” Steven asked.

“Bentley and Arizona are, you can tell by their screaming. Mom is too, just stitching her up due to a small incision, no bleeding.” 

“Hey.” Carly whispered.

Steven looked to his left, smiling.

“Hey to you too.” He lent over and kissed her.

An hour later Carly was moved back to their room, the babies were in the same room for the time being, Steven was holding Arizona and Carly was holding Bentley. Steven got out of his chair, and sat beside Carly. Carly wanted to hold both of them, Steve handed Arizona to her. Steven watched her as she held them, Carly laid her body against him. 

After a while he said, “How about I lay both of them in their cribs and I lay with you and all of us get some rest?” 

“Sounds good to me.” Carly whispered, and handed each baby to him. 

He laid both down in their cribs, laying back with Carly and gently pulling her to where her head was against his chest. All of them were asleep in minutes, eight days later both Arizona and Bentley were doing so good that the doctor released them. Steven started pacing and texting Rafael and Olivia to go over to their apartment to make sure everything was set up correctly. After the paperwork and final checkups were complete, Steven and a nurse loaded them up. Steven got in the driver's seat and texted Liv to make sure everything was ready to go. Steven drove home and Carly fell asleep as he drove. Liv and Raf met them at the parking space and Steven woke Carly up. Liv and Raf got the babies upstairs and into the apartment, while Steven helped Carly. After making sure the new family of four was set, Raf and Liv left. Arizona and Bentley were still asleep, as Steven sat beside Carly. 

“How about I go fix you a bath with the fixings?” 

“Yes, please. I want to shower off first though.”

Steven nodded, helped her up and into the bathroom. As he filled the tub with bubbles, salts, and whatever he could find Cary jumped in the shower. Steven watched her through the shower door, smiling as she stepped out with a towel. Carly walked over to the tub, she looked at him and then at the tub, then the door. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Could you….” She looked at the door again, and then at him. “Step out?” 

“Step out? Why?” Steven looked upset. 

“Because of my body.” 

Steven pulled her close by her waist, looking up at her. 

“What about your body? You’re beautiful, you gave me two beautiful children yesterday. I would be lost without the three of you.” Steven stood pulling the towel away from her, pulling her into a hug, and kissed her. 

When the kiss ended he gently helped support her as she slowly lowered herself into the bath. Just as she sat down the twins started crying.

‘I’ll be back, relax.” 

Carly relaxed back into the bath, closing her eyes. Steven walked into the twins room, checking both diapers. After getting both Bentley and Arizona back to sleep. He quietly walked out, going back to check on Carly. He walked into the bedroom, Carly was laying in bed already asleep. Steven undressed and got in, Carly turned in her sleep laying her head on his chest. Steven closed his eyes, listening to Bentley and Arizona from the monitor and Carly on his chest.


	8. Chapter 8

Carly woke up around 2AM, both babies were crying. Steven wasn’t there, so she got up walking into the twins room. Steven had both Bentley and Arizona cradled in his arms.

“How long have you been home?” Carly asked. 

“Ten minutes, I was headed to the bedroom when they both started fussing. I was going to give them both a bottle.” 

“How’s the case?” 

“Over, found all the kids.” 

“How many?” 

“60, age ranging from 2 days old to 7 years old, all been abused, sexually and physically. Fin kicked Benson, Barba, and I out of the squad room.” Steven sat in the rocker.

“Where are the kids now?” 

“Ten are in foster homes, 15 are back with their families, 20 are in the hospital. The other 15 were dead when they got there, starved, beating to a bloody pulp.”

“Where any of them….” Carly didn’t know how to finish. 

“All of them except the 2 day old, and the one month old. Can we not talk about it? I helped with the bust and it was horrific.” Steven looked up at her. 

“Do you want me to go get two bottles and you feed one and I’ll feed the other?” 

Steven nodded, not speaking. Carly kissed his head, going downstairs, and fixing two bottles. After Steven fed Bentley and burped her. Arizona took a little longer, he had changed and laid Bentley down, and watched Carly with Arizona. He picked up Arizona when he finished with Bentley and burped and changed him. They both stood there, and watched them sleeping. Steven wrapped his arms around Carly, pulling her back to the bedroom. In their room, they both laid down Steven moved to wrap his arms around her but Cary moved away. He tried again but she moved again, 

“What’s wrong? Why haven’t you let me hold you close like I did before the twins were born?” 

Carly just looked at him, and turned away.

“Is it because of your body? I told you, your body changing didn’t change how I feel about you. How can I get you to understand that?” Steven pleaded, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her so she laid on his front. 

Carly didn’t do anything, just buried her head into his neck and cried.

“Where is this coming from? Is it because of the hormones from the birth?” Steven whispered.

“Some. I just feel different, my shape has changed. I’m heavier...there are stretch marks and I look nothing like I did before. You don’t deserve to be saddled with someone who looks like this.

“You’re beautiful, you were before and even more now.” Steven whispered and kissed her. 

“You’re just saying that.” She said, trying to pull away.

“No I’m not, you’re beautiful but that’s not the only reason I fell for you. I fell for your heart, the way you help people.” Steven said, curling his fingers in her hair. 

Steven kissed her, and hugged her tightly to him. Carly smiled, and kissed him. 

“I love you goodnight.” 

Steven kissed her one more time.

“Love you too, night.”


End file.
